The time has come...

Well, I normally don't blog about my family unless it has some deeper meaning or significance to it, but this one I must share...perhaps I'll find some hidden meaning in it...

Alyssum is finally crawling!!! We've been rooting her on for at least a month and a half now putting everything in front of her that might be the thing to give her the motivation to go forward (not backwards). It ended up not being anything fancy, just some small little bath toy that she wanted to put in her mouth. I think she is such a thinker that she really had to contemplate this crawling thing before she went for it. So yay for Alyssum.

Possible deeper meanings:

1. I thought it was pretty cool how the fact that everyone else's baby (even those much younger) were crawling way before she was and it didn't bother me at all. My daughter is her own individual that is going to do things in her own time. (serious)

2. Now she won't have emotional problems or speech development issues! (sarcasm to its fullest)

All About Attitude

As some of you know we had quite a busy week last week. My parents were visiting from Sunday - Tuesday afternoon and then Matt's parents came Tuesday evening until Friday morning. A couple of things I must say first. 1. This was the first time Matt's parents met their granddaughter, Alyssum (they currently live in Kansas). 2. We love our parents very much and have amazing relationships all around...me with his parents, him with mine, and even my parents with his parents! We all love the Lord and His presence is evident through these relationships. We always feel super blessed when we think about this, especially after hearing horror stories from friends regarding in-law relationships and even more so when grandkids are involved.

So on that note, this must have seemed like a wonderful opportunity for the enemy to come in and try and ruin what potentially could have been an awesome week to bring glory to the Lord. And I must say he was relentless. He knew obvious, outright tactics would be easily shielded or fought off so he had to go another route; an underlying route. So what better way than to attack me in my sleep. He would attack me as I drifted off to sleep. He would attack me in my dreams. He would attack me right before I woke up for the day. And knowing how God speaks to me through dreams, he knew to keep these attacks camouflaged through feelings. They seemed more like suggestions of feelings so when I would wake up in the morning my whole attitude was already negative, bitter, sour, doubtful, untrusting of others, etc... And because I was the hostess and the primary caregiver to their precious granddaughter, he knew that if he could take me down, even just a little, then he could do a lot more damage.

Well, I was just taking the punches at first. But then after the third or fourth day of this, the pattern started to emerge. The Lord opened my eyes to what was going on and then gave me the strength, through His Word and singing praises to Him while in the shower, to defend against him. Praise God for it! He changed my attitude to align with His. So although it was busy, we all had the best week! It could not have gone any better. Alyssum loved all of her grandparents and was on cloud nine all week long. Also, I had some of the best conversations with both of our parents. We were encouraged by them and I believe they were encouraged by us.

Thank you Lord for protecting us and giving us your grace and strength to get through!

Prayer Request

If you're reading this please take a moment and pray for my dad (and all the firefighters for that matter) as he was just called to go to the Mariposa fire (the one by Yosemite National Park). Most people don't know that there have already been a couple of firefighters that have died on all these fires on the west coast. It is very dangerous stuff and all of your prayers of safety and protection are greatly appreciated!!! Thank you so much!!!

Desolate? Controlling? or Both?

The third chapter of Captivating discusses how women, in our sin nature, because of the fall/curse, tend to either be contolling or we become desolate and withdraw all together. In talking about this today with a few friends, it seems that we all had a little of both; well, we may have favored one over the other, but we still went in both directions. The most common tactic seemed to be that we withdraw from others and protect our vulnerability by not even giving others a chance to hurt us and then we become controlling with our immediate surroundings,i.e our homes, family members etc., to help us still feel like we are in control and that we are choosing to live like this.

But this is not what we really want! We just feel alone, abandoned, and not good enough.

This is not how God created us!

If we felt lovely, beautiful, wanted, if we felt truly at rest with how God created us, then we wouldn't feel the need to control; we wouldn't feel the need to withdraw. It seems that the need to feel wanted is the most common issue at the moment within our church body. For months now so many of us have struggled with feeling like we aren't wanted by others. Although this issue will never be 100% gone until we are with the Lord, I have to say that I am so proud of us Stirring ladies speaking out about this; we are being honest; we are being vulnerable; we are fighting against the enemy and he is losing ground fast! Keep up the fight ladies. Let your warrior princess out and allow your beauty to shine through...we need it...I need it...our men need it...our kids need it...our church body needs it...the world needs it!

Discussion: Ephesians 4:1

There is a verse in Ephesians that has stood out to me since last summer. Since we are going through Ephesians right now in church, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to begin a discussion about it. Here is the verse:

"Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God." Eph. 4:1 NLT

When you read this, what does it mean to you? What is the first thing you think of? How does God speak to you in this verse?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Characteristics of God

Well, now that I'm reading through Captivating again, for the fifth, sixth or seventh time, yet again something stirs in me...perhaps my heart and my passion that God has given me for this lifetime, but whatever it is, it is energizing! I'm also amazed at how I can read through a book so many times and have it move me and teach me in new ways every time. So just to give credit where it is due, my upcoming blogs (whatever they may be) will most likely reference that book...alot! On with this blog...

There is a song that we sing at church quite often that speaks the same thing to me everytime. We sang that song this past Sunday, and yet again, the Lord reminds me of the same message. I don't know the name of the song, but the chorus goes something like this:

I want to hear the thunder of where you are
To be captured inside, the wonder of who you are
I want to live
I want to breathe
to search out your heart and all of your mysteries

I think it is more common for us to see what traits of God that a man has; man was made in God's image, and although the word "man" is supposed to represent "mankind", sometimes I think it is easy to forget that woman was made in God's image too. We never hear that phrase "woman was made in God's image". I don't care that we use the word "man" to mean "mankind", I just think it might help remind us ladies that we bear certain characteristics of God...characteristics that men don't have...and that makes us unique and very important.

So back to why this song is important to me. We often hear, speak, and sing of God as a warrior; He defends us; He battles for us; He rescues us; He saves us. We are His bride. But this song represents to me characteristics of God that women have. God longs for us to love Him, to seek after Him, to be captured by who He is. If you think about it, this is what a woman longs for too. We are often condemned for being too complicated and mysterious. Because of this we often feel like we're too much or we're not worth the effort. Therefore, we either lower our standard and just let anyone in or we put up a wall and let no one near. But it shouldn't have to be like this. The mystery of a woman should be celebrated...God created us this way...in His image. When a woman feels sought after, that her heart is genuinely being searched for, that someone is longing to know who she is, and then when that person is really captured by what they find, it is then that a woman feels most alive, most loved, and truly content. I guess this is a good definition of what it means to be romanced. It's not the receiving of the flowers and candy that romances us, it's knowing that someone wants to do those things for us that truly melts our hearts. It is the same for God. He doesn't want our acts of service or our money, He wants us to want to serve or to give. But this isn't just for romantic relationships. I think this goes for friendships as well. To know that I have a friend or friends that would truly want to know who I am does the same for the heart. Also, being rejected by a friend leaves similar wounds.

So, if you're a woman reading this, reread the chorus above and pretend like it is a poem from someone (romantically or from a friend) written to you. Doesn't it just melt your heart?

My Body...A Temple? Part 2

So the thoughts behind this blog have been stirring around in my head for a couple of weeks now, but after Nate's message last Sunday, I don't want to wait any longer (although this is the first time this week I've actually had time to write).

To answer my previous question: 'does the battle get easier if I make my health about Him?' ...the answer is a resounding YES! Here's why:

First, my focus is on Him which means my mind is not consumed with all of my imperfections and all of the thoughts that keep me from being content. Now, because my focus is on God and not myself does that mean that I don't care about feeling beautiful? ABSOLUTELY NOT! God created me with the desire to feel beautiful (Captivating is one of my favorite books). Here's the thing, even though the gym feels like a distant memory now and my newly developed muscle tone is turning to mush, I've never felt more beautiful in my entire life! And I know some of you are thinking, "I'd feel beautiful too if I had your body"(you know who you are), but you wouldn't if your focus wasn't on the Lord. I know because I wouldn't be content or feel completely beautiful right now if it weren't for Him; I would find something to complain about and my many imperfections would be my focus. I still admit that getting hit on during a girls night out and supermodel comments (thanks Anna) are esteem boosters, but I don't need them to compensate for negative thoughts...they're just icing on the cake.

Second, because my mind is filled with more of God than with me, I seem to think about food a lot less...which means the temptation level goes way down...which means my fight is a lot easier! The result of all this is that now when I do splurge some I actually enjoy myself and don't feel guilty when it's all over.

End result: I feel like I'm experiencing a new sense of freedom. My outward appearance hasn't changed much, but my perception has! I guess I'm seeing myself more and more as God sees me!

Thank you, Lord, that in your presence I lack nothing!